Life Mastery: 12 Simple Essentials for Extraordinary Living (Part III of III)
9. SPEECH
“The written word can be erased -- not so with the spoken word.” --Source Unknown
An ancient saying from the Song Dynasty goes like this: “Disease goes in by the mouth and trouble comes out of the mouth.” People these days are very mindful of what they put in their mouth and yet may not be as careful regarding what comes out of the mouth. It is attributed to Socrates who said that words uttered need to pass the test of being true, kind and necessary. We count the calories of the food we eat not to exceed certain amount; do we also examine if the things we say meet the ancient sage’s criteria?
When we talk about life mastery essentials, it doesn’t do justice if we neglect this powerful instrument that we all are equipped with that can have tremendous power and also cause immense pain. Words can tear people apart and also build people up. Indeed, “if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.” Something James, the brother of Jesus, said two thousand years ago is still true today.
The importance of speech is emphasized across eras and cultures. It was true in ancient time and it is even more so today as we are constantly bombarded by all kinds of speeches, words, information that are neither true nor kind, and oftentimes superfluous. Imagine if you only allow words that are edifying to come out of your mouth, to fill the conversations with your friends, colleagues and loved ones, how would that look like? How about you do an experiment yourself by making sure every time you open your mouth, things you say are true, kind and necessary all at once? By putting up this straight speech test for yourself even for a day or two, can you imagine what that could do to you and those around you?
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver,” said King Solomon.
Don’t just go after getting your body fit, maybe more importantly, make sure your speech is also fit!
10. SPACE
“Space is to place as eternity is to time.” --Joseph Joubert
In one of my coaching sessions with my coach, he said three words that got me stop. Those three words were: “Space is wealth.” So simple, yet so powerful.
We are living in a generation called “More.” Everywhere we go we get the feeling that more is better, more is cooler, more is smarter, more is the winner. And yet as we want more and more, accumulate more and more, go after more and more, we actually become less and less content, less and less fulfilled, less and less free.
Do you know that a Japanese secret of living a long life is to only eat until you’re 80 per cent full, so to leave space at the end of a meal? Even for the laundry machine, it works better if the clothes are not filled to the rim. Not to say your computer works faster when there is more work space.
If space is wealth, how rich are you? Is your living environment clean and tidy or crowded with clutters? Is your mind clear and sharp or filled with junk thoughts? Is your heart open and ready to embrace and taste what life has to offer or is it filled with current stress and past wounds? Does your calendar look spacious and enticing or is it loaded with tasks to finish and meetings to attend that are weighing you down? Physical space, mental space, emotional space, schedule space, how spacious is your life?
Create space in your life because space is wealth. Space allows more movement, more creativity, more possibilities, more freedom and ultimately, more life and more YOU.
Sometimes true wealth is obtained not by addition, but by subtraction.
How much wealth have you uncovered right here, right now?
11. SYSTEM
“You have to build systems to protect against your lesser self.” --Neil Strauss
I was once confiding to my personal coach that I had many great ideas and have started many projects. And yet I feel frustrated for many projects have not come to completion. As my coach probed further, I realized that there were times I could be really productive, meet my deadline, finish the task and perform well. Then my coach said: “You just don’t know your system!” Suddenly I felt like I was awakened by a loud thunder. I was not what I thought I was, I just don’t realize how my “system” functions and work accordingly.
For example, when I am working with a team, I deliver. When I have a deadline to meet, I will finish my work on time. When I need to speak to a live audience, I feel energized, fun and alive. I also found that I sometimes work better at a coffee house. I even bought a very basic computer just for writing so that I don’t easily get distracted.
Author and Cartoonist Ashleigh Brilliant said, “Life is the only game in which the object of the game is to learn the rules.” Do you know how YOU operate? What are the rules that come with this system of YOU? Have you cracked the code? What motivates you? Do you perform better solo or with a partner or a team? Do you need someone to hold you accountable? How do you celebrate your every milestone, big or small? There got to be times when you are performing exceptionally well. What were the circumstances? Who were with you? Do you notice any patterns? Do you know what time of the day you are most creative and focused? How would you use your most productive time to do the highest-value tasks? How do you plan your week? When are your daily and weekly “low tides” and “high tides”?
At the end of the day, YOU may be the most powerful instrument you will ever possess. Do study the rules and make the most out of this incredible gift you were given: YOU!
12. SLEEP
“Deep sleep is nature’s way of giving everyone a taste of their true nature.” --Rupert Spira
Have you ever wondered why we sleep so much? Almost one third of our life is spent in bed literally. To some people, going to bed is the highlight of their day and they can’t wait to have a good night of rest. To others, bedtime could be a dreadful time for they have a hard time falling asleep. More and more people suffer from insomnia at a young age. Their minds are so active and occupied that they have a hard time turning the switch off and rest.
I once was spending a night at a friend’s house in the beautiful state of Washington. The room was air-conditioned without any windows. When the light was turned off, it was pitch dark. Since it was a guest room, there weren’t too many pieces of furniture. There were no computers, no night light, no desks, no noise. After traveling for the day, I fell asleep right away and I remembered waking up the next day fully recharged and totally refreshed. A simple night of sleep became such a sweet treat. It was really peaceful, restful and pleasant. Imagine every night you are given this unique opportunity to experience your essential nature, which is none other than peace and pleasure.
The process of sleep is quite mysterious. Researchers told us there are three stages of sleep: light sleep, deep sleep, rem sleep or dream sleep. Each stage of sleep serves a unique purpose, and they are all important for your wellbeing and optimal functioning. Besides keeping your sleeping space dark and cool, the simple attitude of gratitude, giving thanks for the day of activity and the night of rest, trusting you are part of a much bigger whole and at the end of the day, everything IS okay, will certainly prepare you better for that wonderful state of blissful rest.
I like what the Psalmist says, “In vain do you get up early and put off going to bed, working hard to earn a living; for he provides for his beloved, even when they sleep.” (Psalm 127:2, The Complete Jewish Bible)
Yes, even you sleep, you are in good hands!
Morning, Mantra, Movement, Mood, Done, Dance, Delight, Depth, Speech, Space, System, Sleep: these life mastery essentials are all within reach and simple. See which ones you resonate the most and start practicing those. Once again, having an extraordinary life may simply mean mastering the ordinary things in life. Consistency is the key. See for yourself if that is true.